B5 Network - Tech, Gadgets and Weird Things

I think everyone is familiar with the name “The Simpsons”. A long running series, which manages to unite stupid crude jokes and the subtlest humor (the latter one being overlooked far too often) into one.

Well, how about bringing some of that Simpson spirit into your everyday life? No, I don’t mean acting like someone with a single-digit IQ – the world is full of those as it is. I meant making some of Homer’s favorite snack – doughnuts.

The Simpsons Doughnut Maker, featuring a real life picture (meaning yellow and cartoon-like) picture of Homer, allows you to make 6 doughnuts in minutes (though the doughnuts are significantly smaller than the ones you see in the series – touch the base/root of your thumb with your index finger, and you will have a pretty good indicator of the size – assuming you have average/large palms.). It has the standard non-stick coating (which is actually very effective at the temperatures these things operate at), so no ruined doughnuts and no problems cleaning (wipe it with a wet sponge and that’s basically enough). The makers even included a recipe book, with recipes for the dough as well as the topping.

Getting your own personal Simpsons Doughnut Maker would require you to part with £24.99. Found at GadgetShop.

A knife is possibly the most universal tool ever invented. A folding knife offers all the functionality of a regular knife and adds portability.

At one point in history, someone from Switzerland, a country famous for it’s hot chocolate (and watches as well as banks), decided that “possibly” simply won’t do when talking about their army’s supplies, and created something now called the Swiss army knife – the most universal tool of them all (however, the lethality of the knife was reduced due to a smaller blade).

Of course, soon civilians decided they want those knives too – the small size and the variety of functions makes them great to have in the great outdoors…err, I meant in the wilderness. And, just as surely, soon there were quite a number of variations of this tool – some were actually more like parodies.

Well, the Backpackers’ Cutlery Set is one of those parodies that turned out to be actually useful. The tool (top-right in the picture, near the belt case) splits into two parts – spoon/knife/pick (bottom-left) and fork/screwdriver/bottle opener (bottom-right) – a great idea actually – alternating between a knife and a fork would be difficult. If I may be so bold to say, this is the best pocket cutlery set ever created (not that pocket cutlery sets are often created).

The Cutlery Set costs £5.99 at GoBaz.

I assume we all know what’s a cuckoo clock is, right? Cartoons that we saw as children (Tom&Jerry for me) taught us at least that much (It also taught me that whoever is at fault, you have a far better chance of getting away with it if you’re the weak little oppressed-looking mouse).

Well, it appears as though someone decided that hearing the same bird over and over again could be annoying (I wholeheartedly agree). And that someone was able to turn his/her idea into reality. Introducing the Bird Song Clock! For each of the twelve hours you get a song of a different bird. Starting from the hour 12 clockwise the birds are the Tawny Owl, Chaffinch, Cuckoo, Great Tit, Great Spotted Woodpecker, Song Thrush, Barn Owl, Wren, Blackbird, Blue Tit, Nightingale and Robin. An inbuilt light sensor makes sure that the songs do not wake you up in the middle of the night (Imagine the old times when the clocks had loud chimes to announce a new hour and did not have a light sensor that would shut them up when you wanted to sleep).

The clock comes in a matt green frame and is 20cm (8”) in diameter. Adding the realistic bird drawings and the minimalistic design, this clock is designed so it would look good anywhere. Personally, I think it would look good in a room full of bookshelves full of not-so-light literature, or on a wall in your workspace. Of course such a clock would make a wonderful gift.

The Bird Song Clock is £19.95 including VAT (EU) or £16.98 excluding VAT (Outside EU). Fount at eDirectory.

Anyone here has a habit of visiting clubs from time to time? I am speaking about the ones where darkness, strobe lights and overrated pop music (and maybe light alcohol, and (legality depending on the country) sometimes light narcotics) rule tens (hundreds?) of entranced humans as they attempt to move in tune with music while trying to use their brain as less as possible (believe it or not, these words are by a guy who frequents such clubs 1 – 2 times a week).

And with such numbers of somewhat zombie-like people, one naturally attempts to get noticed by being different from the mass. The popular means to achieve that include glowing bracelets and glowing sticks. Nice little toys, eh? Look great after dark, match any style of casual clothing (can’t really expect such things to look good when wearing a business suit, now can you?). Problem is, these things are so cheap (well, they are cheap when buying in high quantities, from a supplier. Clubs often sell them for 5 – 20 times the original price) and there are so relatively few laws applying to them, that they are a pretty common sight. And who cares about stuff that everyone knows about?

Well, how about flashing (no pun intended) a truly glowing smile? With these flashing mouthpieces (made from rubber. Should be more comfortable than the plastic vampire teeth mouthpieces you might have tried), with 4 ultra bright LEDs each shining simultaneously, your smile will be hard to miss (by the way, believe it or not, ultra bright is an actual LED classification).

The Flashing Mouthpieces are £1.99 (discounts are available if you buy more than one) at Glowsticks.

Is there anyone among us who didn’t want a talking pet parrot in their childhood? Well, I certainly do remember wishing for one.

Well, that desire quickly disappeared once I got shown what a parrot truly is – a loud, hyperactive bird, incapable of staying silent or still for more than a fraction of a second. Having a talking pet still remained an attractive idea though.

Well, now you can have a pet parrot that is capable of repeating your words, and yet at the same time doesn’t cause any of the problems live pets tend to (fails at the whole “Friendship and Companionship” business though – well, nothing is perfect after all.). Powered via USB or by 2 AA batteries, the USB Talking Parrot will memorize words it hears from you, and then choose the worst moment possible to shout the words out in it’s ‘parrot voice’ while flapping it’s wings.
(Luckily for you, unlike normal parrots, these come with an “OFF” switch)

The USB Talking Parrot is £19.95 at BoyStuff.

If you have been keeping up with the world’s trends, you should be familiar with a game called Guitar Hero. For those completely oblivious, that’s basically a game that imitates a guitar, where people have to play songs of various difficulties. This game allows them to perform rock solos without taking the actual time to learn to play the guitar (As someone who is taking the time to learn to play the guitar, I tend to look down on people who brag about their ‘guitar hero skills’, but that’s just me).

Well, playing the guitar on the screen didn’t really give you the feeling of an actual guitar (the keyboard feels distinctively different from a guitar, wouldn’t you agree?). Sure, there lately have been a few physical versions of the game, some actually resembling guitars, even coming close (well, not really) in size. But they usually were still operated with buttons, and, as such, still didn’t give you the real feel.

Now the Guitar Hero Air Guitar is an improvement. While you will look like a total idiot while playing it, you will also get the pleasure of hearing a sound produced when you strum with the pick (you won’t be strumming any strings though). The kit is made up of a miniature amp (slightly bigger than your palm), an ‘air cartridge’, a belt buckle and a pick. After inserting the ‘air cartridge’ into the amp, you wave the pick over the buckle, and the first sound from your chosen song (there are 5 songs in the air cartridge that comes with the kit, and new ones will soon be released) will be played. Essentially, you will only need to strum in relatively similar rhythm to play the songs.

There is also an output socket which can be used to connect headphones (if you haven’t quite gotten the hang of playing yet and want to spare the embarrassment, or if your neighbors are making death threats to you), or, if you really want to annoy someone, connect to external speakers.

As nice as this toy is, I can still see a few problems with it:
1.Only 5 songs. There will be additional cartridges later, but they will cost you.
2.The guitar sound, while nice for a toy, is below the one a middle level electric guitar can produce.
3.Simply put, you’ll look like an idiot playing this. On the other hand, playing any toy instead of an actual instrument will make you look stupid – at least this is rather cool

Official site: AirGuitarRocker
You can buy this for the lowest price on: Target.

Imagine this seemingly typical, everyday situation: you are walking down the street, and you see some rare sight – an old, rare and almost legendary car (For example, some of you might know of the Trabant), the first flowers of spring (if you’re a romantic) or just something like a street performance. Now unless you have a perfect photographic memory (rare and hard to develop) and a permanent memory recall (even rarer and even harder to develop), the first thing most of you will think of doing is to whip out your camera-equipped cellphones and take a picture. Well, what if you don’t have the time to do that (i.e. The object is moving) or cameras in any form are forbidden?

Well, this gadget solves those little problems. The Spy Camera Sunglasses have a 1.3Mp camera just beside the right lens. Want to take a picture? - just press a button on the pocket-sized RF remote control. Don’t worry about the number of the pictures – you can’t exactly fill the 1Gb of inbuilt memory in one attempt. And when you’re not taking pictures, the sunglasses also serve as an mp3 player.

Now, the following will be based on my experience (I own mp3 player sunglasses by the same company. They look more or less the same too):
First of all, the lenses are wonderful. They look good from the outside, and they are very clear from the inside (just remember to remove the protective layer not only from the outer, but from the inner side as well), as well as easy to clean. The music/headphone quality is simply great – you hear a perfectly clean stereo sound. Lastly, the storage case is padded, made from hard carton with magnetic clips holding the lid – reliable, and will last for years.

The Spy Camera Sunglasses are $99.99 on ThinkGeek.

Do you remember those times when rock concerts were a regular and ordinary occurrence? When rockers dressed in the weirdest of rags and that still passed off as tasteful? When rock was still rock and not heavy pops?

Well, as most of that took place in the golden 80s, most of you probably don’t (neither do I) due to being too young to remember that. I have, however, seen many hours of video recordings. And I find one tradition particularly attractive. During a power ballad, people would whip out their oil lighters (a typical example would be a Zippo lighter) and raise them above their heads, creating a sea of small lights. Now, however, usually what people do (on those rare occasions when real rock is performed) is just use disposable lighters – if they are not totally mutilating the tradition by just using their cellphones. In my eyes, that is a step down.

Well, the Big Daddy Lighter is something that could be actually considered as an improvement (sort of). 4.5″ wide x 6.5″ tall x 1.5″ deep, this lighter produces a 3.5inch (~8.5cm) high flame - something that my inner (or, in the opinion of my friends, outer) pyromaniac simply loves. However, the flame is pretty thin, as it uses standart Zippo wicks (and zippo flints, before you ask) – so, while the flame is thin, at least the parts are replaceable.

As you can see from the pictures (do look into the pictures on the website), the lighter is slightly too big to be called “pocket-sized”, though some people do report being able to keep it in their pockets. Naturally, a lighter this size takes much more oil than regular sized ones – about three cans of Zippo fluid are used to fully fill this giant.

The Big Daddy Jumbo Lighter (without the fluid inside – shipping regulations) costs $14.95 at Vat19 (this is the best price I came across).

In the past, I wrote about a number of alarm clocks – ranging to extremely loud ones to pleasantly sounding. Well, it is of course a good thing if the loud ringing of the alarm wakes you up. But even if you are woken up, what do you do? If you’re lucky, you manage to get up and start the day. If you’re not….well, in my case, I just turn off the alarm and get back to sleep. And all that while still relatively unconscious.

Well, what could be better in order to truly awake than giving your system a little shock…literally. The Shocking Alarm Clock, sporting an appearance of a retro style alarm clock, will release a slight (or not so slight, depends on your way of seeing things) electric shock into your hand as soon as it touches the electricity conducting exterior while reaching to turn off the infernal wailing of the dead alarm. Of course, if you manage to hit the ‘off’ button without touching the exterior, you will be spared the shocking wakeup – though the chances to do that while you’re still half-asleep and with your eyes closed are pretty slim.

Oh yeah, common sense or, in some cases, it’s closest equivalent (what? I know people who are like that…) dictates that electric shock should be avoided by young children, as well as people with certain medical conditions or those who use electronic devices such as heart stimulators.

The Shocking Alarm Clock is $9.99 at X-tremegeek.

Hey, gadget lovers! Are you enjoying the summer? How do you like the weather? Personally, I just love the warm, and yet not really hot days. The perfect stereotypical summer. The weather is so stable and consistent that no one really expects any surprises…….say, for example, like a freak snowstorm.

Now, unless you live in the polar regions, obtaining a sizable amount of snow in this time of the year could prove to be quite a difficult task. I suppose it could be done if you’d set the freezer and the air conditioning system to work well above it’s usual limits, but that is not recommended (really, don’t, it’s a bad idea).

You can, however, turn to the next best solution – artificial snow, that comes in 8oz (~0.24 liters) jars. Sure, the amount doesn’t look like much. But here comes the best part. You only need to add water for the jar of powder to inflate to approximately 2 gallons (~7.6 liters) of snow.

A little personal input:
Take a cheap one-time-use pen, and throw away everything but the main body. Pour it full of instant snow powder and plug all holes with toilet paper. Then repeat the procedure with other pens. Put the prepared pens in a plastic bottle. Then just add water to the bottle (and DO NOT put the cap on). In a few minutes, the bottle will start spewing snow. Results may vary depending on the amount of powder used and water used and the type of toilet paper (it should ideally dissolve easily, but slowly).

Or, you can prepare the pens the same way, but put them in a bottle that is half full with ice (freeze it beforehand). Make sure to put the bottle in as warm a place as possible. This way, the snow will be slowly pouring out for an hour or two. With a little creativity this could be a great addition to any party.

A jar of instant snow powder costs $11.99 at KlearGear.